You're A Tease And You Don't Even Know It
by blacksouledbutterfly
Summary: Puck is trying really hard to be alright with Rachel wanting to wait for sex. But when he finds out she's on birth control? Well, he thinks it should be put to good use.


Six months. Rachel and Puck have been dating for six months. He showed up in New York a year after she went and she had sort of teased him that he had followed her there but she knew he hadn't. He had just ended up going there just like she did. But they totally ended up being friends again because of it. And then after that they started to date. But it's been six months and Puck is trying really, really hard to be a good guy. He's trying so hard to be a good guy during all of this but he's never been that good at being a good guy.

The problem is that Puck? Yeah, he's a very sexual person. He's always been a very sexual person. Ever since, well, for a very, very long time, for basically as long as he can remember. That's just how he is. And Rachel? Well, she refuses to be sexual and he's trying really hard to make sure that he keeps his hands to himself as much as he can. Because Rachel is determined not to have sex until she's twenty-five. Twenty-five years-old. That's a long ways away and he's sort of anxious about the whole thing. He's sort of really anxious about the whole thing. So anxious that he can barely stand it.

The only good thing is that he's not completely and totally going without any kind of sexual release. She's not as pure and prude as she used to be. And he's thankful for that. He's really thankful for that because if she was he'd probably go completely and totally insane. But it's not like he doesn't get to touch her or like she doesn't touch him. She lets him do all sorts of things to her besides sex. She lets him go down on her and he gets to take advantage of the fact that she doesn't have a gag reflex and that's totally awesome- hello? The girl can take more of him into her mouth than really any girl he's ever been with before.

But the thing is that it's harder to resist having sex with her the more that they do things like that because he just really wants to fuck her. And she'd probably smack him for being so crude about it. She would tell him that he shouldn't call it that, that when they finally have sex she doesn't want it to be like that, that she wants it to be more romantic than that and she sort of deserves that. He can admit it. But it's really hard for him to resist the urge. But he doesn't push her. He really doesn't. He refuses to push her.

And he's doing a good job of just letting her have her space, of not having sex with her until he's spending the night one night and he gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. And there, sitting on the bathroom counter, is a damn container for birth control. A new damn container and it literally makes his mouth dry. Why the hell are they not having sex if the girl is on birth control? He'd use a condom too just to be sure. That's not an issue. So why is she resisting? Why is she making him wait?

But he doesn't bring it up. Not yet. He doesn't want to come across as a complete and total asshole. He sort of goes home and he looks up birth control and shit- it's not like he's ever had a reason to until then so he isn't really sure how the stuff works except that it's supposed to stop a girl from getting knocked up. And he sees that it can take a while to go into effect.

But weeks pass and nothing. And then it's been three months and still nothing. And he's trying so fucking hard not to be annoyed with it or upset and he's trying hard not to bring it up because he's completely sure that she doesn't even know that he knows she's even on birth control. But really? He just can't stand her having birth control in the house and her taking it when they're not having sex. It just doesn't seem fair. It feels like she's holding out on him just to get to him and he's not sure how much longer he can take that.

So while he tries to be a good guy he finally can't take it anyone. One night while they're eating dinner he excuses himself and goes into the bathroom. And then, when he comes back out he drops the birth control container onto the kitchen table. And for a few seconds she just looks at it, chews slowly on the food that she's been eating before putting the fork down. "So?" And she can't quite figure out what the big deal is but he can't figure out how she doesn't see what the big deal is. How can she not understand why this is all bothering him so much?

"So?" he echoes with a disbelieving look. He just about can't believe that she doesn't get it. She just doesn't get it. And that flabbergasts him. It really, really does. "So, you're on birth control."

"I know I am, Noah. I'm the one taking it. So, yes, I'm aware that I'm taking birth control."

Puck openly gapes at her, his mouth falling open, his eyes bugging out and then he throws his hands up in the air and growls under his breath. He could she not understand? How could she not know what's going on? It's insane. It's insane. It's absolutely, positively insane. There's no way that she can't understand why he's bringing it up but she doesn't seem to understand and that's just insane. It's completely and totally insane. How can she not understand? He wants to slap her only not really. He would never, ever slap her. He's just not that type of a guy. But she's seriously frustrating him.

"You're on the fucking pull!" he finally snaps at her even though he doesn't want to yell at her. He doesn't like the idea of snapping at her like she's done something horrible. But she hasn't done anything horrible. It's just a frustrating situation to be in. "That's like waving a birthday present under a kid's nose six months before their birthday and putting it on the top shelf for them to stare at for six fucking months, knowing it's there, knowing its ready and they can't fucking have it yet and that, that…I want my damn birthday present Rachel!"

Rachel sits back in her chair and blinks rapidly at him like he just said the most ridiculous thing in the world and it sort of feels like he has. "Having sex with me is a birthday present?"

"You know what I'm saying!" he insists and groans under his breath. He's going to get a fucking headache if they have this conversation for too long or if he has to use more metaphors or whatever the heck it's called. He doesn't remember what it's called. Not by a longshot. "I'm saying it's stupid to be on the pill if you don't have a reason to be on the pill. Why take the pill if you're not gonna have sex?"

"It's called being prepared, Noah. You know I believe in being prepared for anything. Which means I have to have birth control just in case. I don't plan on having sex any time soon, Noah. But it doesn't hurt to be prepared just in case, does it? Isn't that safer than not being prepared? We don't want me ending up pregnant when we _do_ have sex, do we?"

"Well, that's not an issue right now, is it?" Puck throws his hands up in the air in frustration and then sighs heavily. "It's not like we're having sex. Not by a longshot so what's the fucking point? There's no fucking point in taking birth control if there's no chance of there being a baby or birth!"

The little diva purses her lips like she's trying to keep something inside of her and she probably is. He knows her too well to think that she doesn't have something to say. Rachel _always_ has something to say. After a moment though she finally stands up and starts to cleat the table. "I don't know what you expect me to say, Noah."

"Just…nothing." He really doesn't think there's anything left to be said. And he's sort of starting to feel bad for freaking out on her like that but it was getting to him not saying anything. But now that he's actually said something he realizes he was a bit of a jerk.

Rachel nods her head a little, continues cleaning up the dishes without saying anything and he's pretty sure that she's mad at him. But then once everything is cleaned up she reaches out and takes his hand and starts leading him down the hall. His eyebrows furrow as he follows her down the hall. "Rachel? What are you doing?"

"Giving you your birthday present."

Okay, he totally takes back regretting having said anything. He should have said something to her months ago.


End file.
